3 Top Dos and Don'ts For Single Women Dating After 50 | HuffPost
Our overs dating columnist Louisa Whitehead Payne shares her advice on dating after divorce. Enjoy the ride and see it as an adventure. Dating after I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. And let me tell you -- dating at midlife ain't what it's cracked up to be. As a date coach for women over 50 and an author who's been writing about the subject for over a decade, I cover a variety of issues, including.
I walked into the bar where my date was sitting. Instantly, I could tell he wasn't interested. Not that I was, either.
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But since then, I always arrive earlier than the man on a first date to check out, rather than be checked out. The whole thing went downhill from there. My date spent an hour talking about what a long day he'd had, his allergies, and even checking out attractive women who walked by. The following night, I met a divorce lawyer for a drink.
That job description should have been a red flag, but remember, I was trying to put myself "out there. Yet, I tried to make the best of it, until he made a pass at me in the elevator.
Want to seduce a woman? Trap her in a box and lunge at her. Thankfully, I escaped unscathed.
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After a few more encounters in which men talked nervously and endlessly about themselves, I met a man who seemed intelligent, attractive and interested in me. We dated for a couple of months. It was good for the ego at first, but turned out not to be a lasting relationship. Just because a man doesn't talk about himself all the time doesn't mean he's right for you. In addition to online dating, I've tried the novel approach of meeting men in person -- at a speed dating event.
But it's just different for the boomer set. We're not kids anymore.
We don't really do the "hang out, hook up" thing very well. Having a five-minute conversation isn't much of a barometer for a relationship. And go easy on the hair product.
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That's good for us men. For God's sake, it's speed dating. What did you sign up for? It can be finessed.
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Pay attention to what you're doing. If it's not your career -- and it can't always be -- come up with something you're good at. Unless you just don't care. But you need exposure to men, whether in person or online and its not happening if this is your nightly routine. No one is going to know you're even available and even worse, they can't find you.
Start going out at night and on the weekends. Go to restaurants with friends. Men are always there. Take classes like golf.
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What man doesn't love improving his golf swing and now they can do it year round at indoor and outdoor driving ranges. Go to places like the library. Men are there checking out books and movies every day. The thing is single men are everywhere. All you have to do is make sure you're in places where the two of you can meet. Have a vision that is too narrow when it comes to the kind of men you are willing to date.
Ask most women what they want in a man and a type similar to Richard Gere's character in "Pretty Woman" comes to mind. Just like your house or apartment could use some cleaning every now and then, so could your online dating profile.
Even adding a new pictures and hobbies will do a world of wonders. More than four years ago, I met my now-partner online, but we had been avoiding each other on the same dating site for a year. A couple becomes sexual immediately without any emotional attachment, and the relationship takes off like a rocket. Sadly, the relationship crashes and burns nearly as quickly once both people realize there was no real basis for a relationship beyond sex.
Oddly, the raw nerves that result after another in a series of crashed rockets surprisingly give many boomers only a temporary pause before they board the next rocket. But do so in a totally different way. Drop your old, failed type and widen your search parameters. Nothing will make a first date more awkward than someone talking about his or her ex.