Tips on Dating, for the love addict – Girl Rebuilt
One rehab clinic operating in Hong Kong has recorded a 30 per cent increase in the number of people seeking help for sex addiction – and. Do you have any idea the abuse inflicted on these animals for our dumb pleasure ? For a love addict like myself, the online dating app was like. Just like anything else that makes us feel good it is possible to get addicted to love – not usually the steady, reciprocal kind but the heart-thumping, unrequited.
The more they talked, the more the waves of excitement and anticipation built. Melissa felt in her soul that Jake was the perfect man; the man she had been looking for her whole life. His edgy and commanding nature made her melt inside.
She imagined Jake to be a brave and confident man who could light up any room with his charisma and charm. Almost every topic took on a romantic and mildly sexual tone.
Although they never talked directly about sex, the roundabout seductive nature of their discussion opened a floodgate of wanton anticipation.
Sex and love addiction on the rise due to online dating apps, says therapist
It was as if they were strongly charged magnets whose opposite, compelling attraction was building up by the hour. Although neither tried to fight this irresistible magnetic force, they knew if they tried, it would have been futile; no different than a guppy swimming up a raging river trying to mimic its salmon cousins. Melissa and Jake met at a local restaurant.
When they met, the electric charge of their shared chemistry sent a palpable shock though them both. Almost instantly, they lost control of their facial muscles. Both were blessed with beautiful faces upon which their eyes could feast. The emotional excitement of the date ran so high that neither had much of an appetite.
Their thirst for wine went unimpeded. As soon as their fingers touched, a shock of sensual energy pulsed through their bodies.
Almost in unison, they summoned their waiter for the check. As Jake was paying the waiter, Melissa reminded herself that she was a good girl and would not sleep with Jake on their first date — no matter how she felt about him. Jake walked Melissa to her car, where he initiated a deep kiss that seemed to have no beginning or end. Melissa woke up first, looking at Jake and wondering how she got so lucky to find a man of such inner and outer strength and beauty.
A Love-Addicted Tinderella – PrimeMind
She could have looked at him all morning. Sensing that Melissa was staring at him, Jake woke up, startled by her deep and smothering gaze. All of a sudden, he felt a pang of panic. On the bed, where he lay naked, he felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that no sheet could cover. He asked himself, who was this woman who looked at him with such intense love?
His chest got tight and his breathing became labored. As Melissa wrapped her arms around him, Jake reflexively arched his back, as if she might hurt him.
Melissa sensed his anxiety and asked if he was OK. You are owed nothing. Know the difference between dating and desperation.
- Tips on Dating, for the love addict
- A Love-Addicted Tinderella
- Love Addiction, Codependency & Internet Dating
Are you ok with just you? Or are you looking for someone to save you? Can you handle being alone? Is it a combination of both of these things? If you are OK within yourself then you can be far more discerning with whom you choose to date.
Because you have nothing to lose. You are simply dating because you would like to meet someone that you can enjoy. A love addict has to be on constant alert of his or her personal motives.
If you feel a void within you, you may pick and choose prospective dates for the wrong reasons. Remember, when we date, we are not looking for our second half. Healthy dating is about meeting other people who are also complete. Let things happen organically.
You can think about the wonderful feeling of his touch, but do not try on his name and imagine the two of you on an Alaskan Cruise as Honeymooners. Letting things happen organically means living in the now.
Gently push those wanting, needing and fantasy thoughts from your head and replace them with thoughts on your work, or what you are presently doing. The more you fantasize, or obsess the more you remove the organic nature of what is meant to happen versus what is not meant to happen. Step away from the computer. One of the most important steps a recovering love addict can take is to abandon any idea of online dating.
Say goodbye to it. Online dating sites are a petrie dish of toxicity for the love addict. Because they are filled with three things: Online dating may be great for healthy people, but not for love addicts.
Like it or not, you need to play by the antiquated, SAFE rules from days of yore. I say this not just to the women, but the men as well. Sex to a love addict is never taken lightly. It usually means a full blown commitment and an excuse to obsess over someone. To sniff out a person for red flags FIRST, before making any heavy duty commitments, physical or otherwise.
Why not make it about other stuff first? Sex on the first, second, third, etc. More than that, it might save you from obsessing more than you would if you did have sex.
Do keep a journal. The perspective and instincts we have before we get to know someone intimately are amazingly sharp. I am convinced that every red flag a person might have pops up on the first or second date, if we really pay attention.
Trouble is, when we want something bad enough, we are willing to ignore the red flags, and ignore our gut instincts. Keeping a journal helps us to stay on track and remember how we felt and what we sensed in those first hours. What was your logical brain picking up on, versus your heart emotions?
Looking back we always see with perfect vision. It sounds counterintuitive when talking about dating. Because we tend to be ruled by our emotions and our logic goes right out the window. We are imbalanced in this way. Our logical brain will pick up on abuse, red flags, neglect, shame and general danger.
Our logical brains are screaming at us to leave a bad relationship. You cannot be ruled by emotions only. You need a balance of both your head and your heart. Trouble is, because we have been off balance for so many years, we need the pendulum to swing in the opposite direction.