About personality or character, rather than behavior; Filled with blame; Not focused . How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain under Any Kind of Stress. ROCD (Relationship OCD), is an often misunderstood variant of OCD. My feelings of uncertainty torment me because if he didn't nit-pick me and wanted to be. Some people with relationship OCD have obsessions about how they feel in a relationship, or how they felt They often nit-pick and find fault.
Maybe things have always ended with heartache and loneliness. Now that things are going well, your partner still fears what feels like that potential, tragic end. Putting down a partner or finding potentially fatal flaws is a way to protect from that potential heartache or loss. This self-defeating behavior feeds the illusion that one can control the future.
It prevents a mate from getting too close and creating hurt all over again. If you sense that a partner is picking apart your imperfections due to their own unresolved painreassure them that you are committed, willing, and safe. Learn more about their stories of past hurt and be extra sensitive to their need for reassurance and transparency.
About last night: Obessive compulsive disorder sabotaging relationships
Talk openly about their feelings around fear and tendency to self-sabotage through criticism. Control wins Nit-picking or henpecking can also be a way to control a love interest. When the relationship feels out of their control, or some aspect of life feels this way, using a stream of criticism can help the instigator feel in control of something - you. In this situation, it's helpful to talk to a trusted third party, like a therapist at Center for Shared Insightwho can discuss how to manage a controlling partner.
Every relationship is plagued by at least one challenging dynamic. Some people with relationship OCD have obsessions about how they feel in a relationship, or how they felt in past relationships. It is normal to experience doubts and anxieties as a relationship develops. However, in ROCD, such preoccupations are chronic and intrusive, unwelcome but unstoppable, and quite disabling, affecting the sufferer's ability to fall in love. Fear of making a mistake can cause a person with ROCD to keep asking for reassurance, to continuously doubt whether they love their partner, whether their relationship is the right one, or to doubt that their lover really loves them.
When people with ROCD are pretty sure they are in a loving relationship, they might still constantly check and reassure themselves that it is the right feeling.
Understanding an Over-Critical Partner
They often nit-pick and find fault. Instead of finding good in their partner, they focus on shortcomings, often exaggerating them and using them to prove the relationship is bad. This inability to concentrate on anything but a partner's flaws causes great anxiety, and strains the relationship. However, when they attempt to end a relationship, they are then overwhelmed with anxiety about whether that was a mistake, and maybe she was actually "the one" and they have blown it.
Denver Psychologist: Understand an Over-Critical Partner
Nothing ever just feels comfortable and right. Psychological and biological factors are thought to play a role in the development and maintenance of all forms of OCD. When a person relies too heavily on his or her intimate relationships for feelings of self-worth, or where someone has a fear of abandonment, this can contribute to ROCD. You mention the failed romance of your youth, saying that woman was the only one you have ever loved.
Was the ending of that relationship distressing and traumatic? Did your fear of getting it wrong play a negative role at that time? What was it about her that you loved, and that all other women lack? I suspect some of the clues to your current distress will be found in that relationship.
It is a truism that you cannot love someone else before you love yourself. When you are complete in yourself, you do not look for a partner to complete you. You see the other person as an individual, live in the moment, and make calm, measured assessments about how it's going.