Relationship Dependency, Dating Violence, and Scripts of Female College Students. Charkow, Wendy B.; Nelson, Eileen S. Journal of College Counseling, v3. Teen dating violence (TDV) is a significant public health issue. The media is one of the primary cultural drivers of societal-level social scripts about the causes of TDV. Framing theory Twilight: The glamorization of abuse, codependency, and white privilege. Mass media as a sexual super peer for early maturing girls . Psychiatric Annuals, 21, Charkow, W. B., & Nelson, E. S. (). Relationship dependency, dating violence, and scripts of female college students .
I expected some love in return and therefore I did more and more each time trying to show that I was enough, that I was good, in order to gain his approval. As time went by and this never happened the expectation became frustration and I was angry at him.
The relationship had no limits. I allowed the lack of limits and we discussed each time more and more frequently and violently. He did things to hurt me and I did the same.
We lost respect for each other; there was much economic control from him to me, lots of social control also. For instance, we had just met his family and friends, we went to the places he liked and even then I agreed to please him until I was too tired to continue and I got depressed.
She also attended therapy for several years and after being abstinent of alcohol for a while she started her studies in psychology and now she helps other women in recovery. She has founded two Codependence Anonymous groups in Mexico.
When asking about her life in the present she said: I recovered the capacity of trusting myself, now I realize that I'm not stupid, that I have the skills to support myself and nowadays I know that I'm capable of being alone and economically independent. In the past I was afraid because I thought that something terrible could happen to me if I lived alone. It could be something terrible, like a terrible danger, social, physical, mental danger.
Now I realized that there is no reason to be afraid, that I'm capable to take care of myself. They had told me that it was very important to be pretty. It was not important to be intelligent as a woman".
Another woman who is an active member of the group but not a leader explains: I have learned to ask for my space. Now, my life is very different, I have freedom. Even though I'm still married I know how to set limits. In the group they explain to us to see ourselves instead of always looking at others' behavior trying to be in control of the situations.
I realize that in my case I did everything to control my husband. I mean, I put away my profession and focused on my family to maintain the control, particularly of my husband, to gain his approval".
The results show that those women who have been participating for a long term in the group moved from a non-speaking and just listening position to a participative speech in the second stage, in which they often cried while describing the difficult situation they were going through.
In a third stage, the speech changed to describe the attitude or facts they were trying to change about their situation. In the cases of the women leaders of each group the speech was more eloquent, and they described what they were doing or how they managed to maintain new ways or relationships. The best results were observed in the particular groups named "advance groups" that have the characteristic of being study groups only.
The dynamics in these groups is that all the participants read books about the twelve steps program and discuss each point. The catharsis, which is to say, the explanation of the painful situation for a period of time, is not allowed, and in any case, when they speak about a personal experience they explain what they did to solve the problem using the tools they have.
However, not all the women decided to get deeper into the practice of self-knowledge and most of them had no reference of gender equality, which had an impact on the way they constructed their relationships after they have recognized abuse and violence and tried to get rid of them.
It has been observed that gender cultural habits in Mexican Culture provide several expectations towards women, which are closely related to codependence practice. For instance, Mexican women are to take care of their family, parents, children, husbands or any family member that may need to be taken care of. In one point, when their help is not longer needed, their feelings become a type of emotional dependence and develop affective disruptions such as guiltemotional vacuum and fear of abandonment, which are the issues they work on the self-help group.
This is to say that the results show the impact of gender practices of Mexican culture in the development of codependency patterns in the sample of women observed throughout this research. They found difficult to develop an internal control locus, and their cultural practices pushed them to develop attachment in their interpersonal relationships, such as their family bonds with their children or mainly with their husbands. A further investigation on gender practices and codependency in Mexican Culture is taking place after these results.
Discussion Interfamily violence often affects women and children. Even if women appear as the only affected members of the family, the impact in the children may be measured by the increase of antisocial behavior in them. Once the antisocial behavior has appeared it can be related to addiction problems in those children, who may become heads of families with the interfamily violence pattern and, therefore, the cycle would start again. The question that emerges is how to stop this cycle?
And the answer appears to be in women's education and training to learn a new kind of non-violent communication patterns. On the other hand, in social terms, the women looking forward to moving from patriarchal oppression seem to have several motivations.
However, there will be resistance in the system, and the economic empowerment is essential to do so. Nevertheless, if the woman who is looking for empowerment doesn't also reach an emotional empowerment and shows it through self-reliance, there will be no change, in terms of resilience, from a victimization attitude. In terms of the help that Codependency Groups provide these women to move from the dependent role to a self-reliance attitude, they explain that they have learned new ways of development.
They also explained that it was important for them to have the group support to do so. However, one of the women interviewed, who had several years of experience and had developed self-reliance, argued that it was not the group who helped her, but the spiritual principles contained in the twelve steps that she applied to her life.
On the other hand, the other experienced woman explained the importance of the group as support for her recovery and particularly the motivation she felt after sharing the experiences of the empowered women she met in these groups.
After the interviews a question emerged: Could these women be able to maintain their empowerment known as the self-reliance they had reached without the assistance and support of their self-help groups? The pro of these groups appears to be the possibility to share experiences as well as develop new ways to face their lives. However, if these women don't continue learning and having more than one option of support, they may become dependent on the group, or in other words, they wouldn't really develop self-responsibility.
Codependency seems to be a problem that affects women who have been victims of different kinds of abuse. Either if they have cohabited with alcoholic people or became helpers of people who were not able to look after themselves, these women learnt a way to take care of others while giving the power of their lives to others.
Research results show that through the continuous attendance to the Self-help groups Codependents Anonymous, the women interviewed developed the factor called self-reliance.
However, although the support of the group helped them to maintain their new way of living, if these women do not develop critical thinking and are eager to learn, it seems that the support of the group wouldn't make a real difference in their lives. On the other hand, those women interviewed who have more than five years experience and were able to open new groups to help other women victims of abuse, seem to have developed strategies not only to become responsible of their elections, but also to create new ways of communication and thus, experience functional relationships.
The results of this work open more opportunities to answer new questions such as: Which factors are to be considered if the aim is to develop co-responsibility in relationships? Could gender differences be avoided with the use of new pedagogic strategies of self-reliance and co-responsibility? Is critical thinking a factor to be considered in the development of individuation and construction of functional relationships between genders? Education is the factor that could make a difference in the present situation in Mexico.
Self-help groups provide new ways of learning strategies to develop self-reliance. Although they can't provide all the support needed to make a substantial change in society, there is an opportunity open for women victims of violence in a first stage of recovery. Once they have learned new strategies for facing violence with empowerment, they could be able to continue their development not only with the group support, but also in different stages and become helpers for other women that may need help.
By helping women to develop self-responsibility, self-esteem emerges and the violence-alcohol consumption-codependency-violence cycle seem to be broken.
In such a way, the self-help groups Codependency Anonymous seem to be an alternative to face the problems associated to alcohol and drug consumption in Mexico. A critical analysis of the concept of codependency. Social Work, 39, 6 Co-dependency - A critical appraisal of social and cultural aspects from a feminist perspective.
Contemporary Drug Problems, 18, 4 Victim-offender relationship and severity of victim injury. Journal of Social Psychology, Childhood antecedents of serious violence in adult male offenders. Aggressive Behavior, 34, Making Sense of the Heterogeneity in Husband Violence. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 9, Typologies of Male Batterers: Three Subtypes and the Differences among Them.
Psychological Bulletin, Journal of Marriage and the Family, 57, A critical review of the Literature. Clinical Psychology Review, 21, Developmental antecedents of partner abuse: Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Courtship Violence among College Students.
Family Relations, 20, Department of analysis, Employment services. British Journal of Criminology, 49, Crime and Delinquency, 61, Prevalence and stability of physical aggression between spouses: Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 57, Frequency, Specialization, and Violence in Offending Careers. Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency, 39, The overlap between offending trajectories, criminal violence, and intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence and physical health consequences: Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 19, Aggression in the general Swedish population, measured with a new self-rating inventory: Nordic Journal of Psychiatry, 55, Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Criminality: The Permanente Journal, 17 2 Office of Justice Programs.
Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 28, Intimate partner abuse and high-risk behaviour in adolescents. Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, Longitudinal effect of intimate partner abuse on high-risk behavior among adolescents.
Risk factors for intimate partner violence in prison inmates. Predictive Validity of Dangerousness. Science and Practice, 3, Revista Latinoamericana de Psicologia, 49, Crime and Delinquency, 62, The Journal of the American Medical Association, American Journal of Public Health, 93, Fritzes Offentliga Publikationer [Young people outside the secondary school - an explicit responsibility for state and local government.
Traditional dating scripts link emotional and sexual intimacy; however, casual relationships often include sexual precedence, which has been defined as having previously engaged in consensual sex Bogle, ; Stinson, Understanding the associations between relationship status and sexual assault characteristics requires consideration of the type of relationship e.
Thus, this study adds to the research literature by examining theory-driven hypotheses about the role of relationship type committed vs. Theoretical Perspectives on Sexual Assault in Different Types of Dating Relationships The only theory we could locate that specifically addressed potential differences among perpetrators who committed sexual assault in different types of dating relationships was Shotland'stheory of date rape.
Although several aspects of this theory are outdated, it provides a useful starting point for hypothesis development. In the initial model, Shotland distinguished between early and relational date rape. He argued that it is unreasonable for a man to have expectations for sexual intercourse at the beginning of a relationship; thus, early date rape typically involves perpetrators with psychopathic personality traits who prey on many women.
In contrast, relational date rape occurs before a couple has fully established sexual ground rules. It is typically committed by men with poor impulse control and high expectations for sex, who misperceive the woman's sexual intentions and then feel entitled to sex when refused. Shotland expanded upon the initial two groups by adding later stages of relationships including marriage in which consensual sexual intercourse had occurred.
He theorized that perpetrators who previously had sexual intercourse with their partner believe that she is obligated to have sex with them and assert their relationship power through sexual dominance if refused. Shotland assumed that for most women and men, sexual intercourse only occured in serious, committed relationships.
Casual sexual relationships have become even more acceptable and prevalent in recent years. Hooking up involves some level of sexual activity, ranging from kissing to sexual intercourse, usually with a stranger or acquaintance and without the expectation of developing a relationship Bogle, In a qualitative study of college students and recent alumni, Bogle found that hooking up was the most commonly discussed script for how college men and women interact together sexually.
Thus, underneath these seemingly egalitarian open, casual sexual relationships, traditional gender roles often produce different expectations for women and men that sometimes culminate in forced sex. Casual, alcohol-fueled interactions in which people are looking for sexual partners frequently involve sexual misperceptions Abbey, Steady partners can make mistakes, but they are more skilled at decoding their companion's cues Abbey, Although sexual misperceptions are often quickly resolved, many researchers have demonstrated in laboratory and survey research that misperception contributes to men's sexual aggression, particularly when they are intoxicated Abbey et al.
Verbally coercive strategies such as guilt are more likely to be used by perpetrators in committed relationships Livingston et al. In one of the few studies that systematically examined the role of sexual precedence in sexual coercion incidents, Livingston et al. Sexual assault survivors reported that perpetrators with sexual precedence were more likely to use negative verbal persuasion including threats to end the relationship, seek sex elsewhere, swear, pout, or express dissatisfaction with the relationship.
In contrast, perpetrators without sexual precedence were more likely to use positive verbal persuasion including complimenting her appearance, telling her he loved her, and telling her it would deepen their relationship.
Contrary to Livingston et al. Relationships without sexual precedence were more likely to end after the incident than were relationships with sexual precedence. This Study's Goals and Hypotheses The main goal of this study was to identify similarities and differences in characteristics of sexual assault perpetrators and incidents associated with the relationship context and sexual precedence between the victim and perpetrator.
Overlap was expected between relationship status and sexual precedence, such that a larger proportion of the perpetrators in a committed relationship with the victim were expected to have previously had consensual sex with the victim as compared with perpetrators in a casual relationship with the victim. However, we also anticipated finding perpetrators in casual relationships with sexual precedence and perpetrators in committed relationships without sexual precedence.
This study addresses several gaps in the existing literature. Despite the acknowledged diversity among sexual assault perpetrators, few researchers have considered if the characteristics of perpetrators and incidents differ based on relationship characteristics. In addition, a large portion of sexual assault perpetration research has focused on incarcerated perpetrators and college samples. This study also expands on past research through its use of a community sample of young, single men identified through telephone screening in a large metropolitan area.
A secondary goal of this study was to further theory development in this research area. Although Shotland'stheory of date rape is clearly conceptualized and presents testable hypotheses, its assumption that consensual sexual intercourse only occurs in long-term committed romantic relationships is outdated.
Consequently, only the relevant components of this theory were used to develop hypotheses for the current study. For example, Shotlandhypothesized that perpetrators who only knew the victim casually would score high on psychopathy-related personality traits because it is unreasonable to expect to have sex so early in a relationship.
This hypothesis does not fit current sexual norms, thus we did not expect to find support for it.