Relationship Problems: The Top 10 That Can Destroy Your Love for Someone | PairedLife
What it's like when your long-term boyfriend is a drug addict "He used drugs and booze to make me more open to trying things I didn't want to in the bedroom" Trying to talk to him about his drug use just resulted in him getting so nasty, that I had no . image Is kissing on the first date a good or bad sign?. The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Dating A Drug Addict If you're romantically involved with a current or former drug addict, just know it's not all bad. Some addicts realize that they've given up the truly important things in their A major perk of dating someone with a checkered past is that they most. Lots of teens have questions about drugs. Neither one is good—but you may need more support if your friend is addicted. . to him smoking more weed so I would just leave it and ask if hes ok . My dad is a drug addict.
They would always lie to you for money Money is a crucial tool to sustain such an expensive habit. So if they are not having the money to buy drugs, they will certainly run to you for funds. But it could go beyond giving them money for drugs. Most drug addicts show indiscipline and are not responsible.
So you may be the one buying them meals, clothes and paying for their miscellaneous expenses. You are not sure if they will be there They could run away with some other drug addict. There is no certainty in the future of the relationship. You find it hard to trust them They must have lied to you in the past.
It is hard to trust them because they are always looking for ways to get money for their terrible habit. Even when they become clean, you will find it difficult to trust them.
You will have to forgive them for who they are Dating an addict certainly pushes you to understanding the depth of forgiveness. Of course it is a struggle for you to make them better persons.
Ill miss him everyday until i can be with him again. Im trying my best to heal.
Real Teens Ask: How Can I Help My Friend?
And accepting for things for what they were. Thank you for helping me. As i have noone to talk to about any of it. I have been with an addict for 17 years. Like you I have a masters degree. I have worked in the area of addiction. I see addiction as a disease same as cancer and diabetes.
The AMA agrees with me. I recently left my husband. I could handle his relapses.
I was always able to separate the addiction from the man I love. I never saw myself as codependent. When he stole, I had him arrested, when he was using, I made him leave or he left on his own. I never threw up his behaviors or made him feel bad for what he had done when using, i never judged him. In all his past relapses, his love for me was never questioned, I knew loved me and I adored him. I still love him always will. I think a person can be a great person and be an addict and do bad things.
Just like a person can not be an addict and do really bad things. I have worked in a rehab. I have met some awesome people who have a disease and I have met some bad people who have a disease.
I think an addict can maintain sobriety if they are willing to change themselves and not just quit drugs. My husband never could change himself. He could only not use drugs for awhile. I think a person can be with an addict and not have the addiction bring them down. I always protected my self, my money, my mental state. My husband at one time adored me. What ever he did while out there he had to fix on his own. Yes I was sad hurt scared during these periods but my life continued I would reconnect with friends, keep busywhatever I needed to do to keep my mind off of him.
This worked for me for years of relapses with a few years of sobriety here there. I kept my boundaries which allowed me to keep my sanity.
I believe him falling out of love might be because of the addiction and the constant negativity that he thought and felt, but in the end out of love is out of love and there is no going back or taking the words back.
I made my choice on loving and marrying an addict, and I would do it all over again. I got a habit when I was 14 and it was when I met my ex partner. I was hooked quickly, I was a shy girl with little confidence and at the start I was flattered by all the attention I was getting. I cared about john my partner, deeply and loved him with all my heart, he was the only person on the planet that I would fiercely protect. But after 8 and a half years and two major operations and numerous other health problems I nearly lost both my legs, and it terrified me.
That day I got the train to Newcastle and went on a methadone programme, I just needed to get away, john came with me and said he felt the same way and then a year and a half later I decided it was time to move back home and see my family again for the first time since I was clean. I was coming back to my senses and all these feelings were coming flooding back, so what I did was I moved into a house on my own and decided that because I had been with john from such a young age I needed to take some time to get to know myself.
As soon as I was gone the first thing he did was use and it spiralled from there. I was with him for so long that I will always love him to some extent and I care about him deeply.
I just dont know how to help him. So the answer to whether or not an addict can love is yes and no. Please understand that an addict is still a person that loves and wants to be loved and many of them never had a family and never experienced love of any kind.
I was lucky that I have a family who love me because not everyone does. I hope my insight helps. I tried talking to him calmly telling him how much i loved him he would get angry tell me i wasnt allowed to even say the word meth it made him want to use.
I miss him so deeply. It takes a ll i have to not sit in my car in the garage. Ive never loved anyone the way i love him.
Id do anything to have him back Tanja 4: I do my best to make sure that nothing bad happens to him unnecessarily, since he tends to be awful to himself, although to nobody else. I am pleased to be among the things that make his life worth sitting through. If both are acceptable and largely the same, there is nothing wrong.
Otherwise, though… Yasmin 8: I wish I knew what was right and was is wrong. I thought he came from a good home…both parents seemed involved, they drove a minivan like my family…we connected and for 2 years it was good.
Our interest and love seemed mutual… but then he went to boarding school, and while he was away I was sexually assaulted. I'm so thankful for that! See results 1 Cheating and Infidelity Unless you are okay with open relationships, cheating and infidelity are for most people the number 1 deal breaker.
Once you have committed to a relationship, if one person steps out, they not only break your trust but throw away the love you have given them. They also can give you irreversible STDs, endless heartache and cause you to continually question them since trust has been broken.
If you are not okay with sharing your partner physically hey You do not need to settle for a cheater. You will find someone who will appreciate you. Have enough respect for yourself to demand loyalty and faithfulness from your relationship. You know the saying that often rings true, "once a cheater, always a cheater". End it with a cheater and move on. Is it impossible to repair a relationship after infidelity has occurred?
But it won't be easy. If you are married and cannot simply walk away from an unfaithful spouse, seek counseling and outside resources for help determining if the relationship is repairable.
Only time will tell with this kind of damage. How are you supposed to have a happy fulfilling relationship with someone that lies to you?
You cannot trust a liar. People that love you will not lie to you. A person that loves you will be honest, regardless of the pain it causes. They will tell you the truth and then sort out problems with you. After-all, isn't the point of two becoming one the goal? Had to say it. People lie for two reasons. To avoid having to deal with the consequences of their actions.
To avoid hurting someone they care about because they've done something that they know will hurt them. In essence, protecting themselves from dealing with inflicting pain on someone.
Real Teens Ask: How Can I Help My Friend?
Lying is the easiest route to take to avoid hurting a loved one, while still remaining unaccountable and being irresponsible. How are you supposed to build a future on that? If you are involved with a drug addict, alcoholic, or gambler END the relationship. Often with drug addictions, cheating, infidelity, and lying goes hand in hand, as does abuse. You are not responsible for someone's sobriety.
You cannot get them to stop using. That is a decision they need to make for themselves, in their time, and on their terms. They will not get sober for a relationship with you, or anyone else. Don't take it personally, it is not something you caused and is not something you can fix. Addictions and gambling destroy families, communities, and the lives of many children.
It is personal only for the addict.
Loving a drug addict: Can a drug addict truly love?
Often when you are tangled up in a relationship with a drug addict you will be in a constant state of turmoil, drama, chaos, worry, and stress romantic or not. Financial and legal problems pile up quickly in these relationships. They become consuming and heart wrenching. You can soon find yourself feeling like the crazy one. Stop telling yourself that you are too much in love to walk away.
Or that you are not strong enough to do so. The best thing you can do for an addict is leave.
Stop enabling their behavior. If and when they become sober, then a relationship will be possible for them with or without you and at that time, but not a minute sooner. That is when healing and forgiveness can take place. When they've done the work needed to maintain sobriety. What if you're unsure the person has a substance problem? Trust your intuition, if you are questioning it, they probably do. If you need more enforcement, check out how a drug addict thinks, feels, and behaves while actively addicted.
Verbal, Physical, and Control Any type of abuse is not acceptable. Yes, it is normal for couples to argue or disagree, but then they work things out. They apologize and find the middle ground. Sometimes a compromise is in order, sometimes they simply have to agree to disagree.
But love does not fight dirty with verbal abuse, or physical violence. That is not loving. No matter how many times someone lays a hand on you then vows to never do it again is NOT okay and it's usually a lie. When someone constantly wears you down with insults, or by telling you how to dress, how to act, what you are and are not allowed to do, that you're stupid, or any other slander is a means to control. Anyone that treats another with verbal or physical abuse does not love you.